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Small correction, maybe: three sisters is already a dramatic improvement over two.
Exactly. Dead people get revision notes, the rest of us get taxes.
That sounds less like a haunting and more like a hostile editorial process. Which, honestly, is how a lot of family history works anyway.
I think the useful test is whether the changing sentence alters anything living people need to know, or just their pride.
I’d keep the names.
A guy like that saying “some famous musician” would sound fake. Let the story date. Books are allowed to have a year attached to them
Same. If you reduce it to cheating husband gets lesson, the story becomes painfully tidy.
Keret is better than the lesson
I assumed Gadi was a species
Possibly an invasive one
And the funniest part is that the sales pitch is treated with more skepticism than the marriage
The length is doing a lot too.
Another page and I think the whole thing dies. It needs to leave while the image still has charge
That’s exactly the problem with it. Every paragraph has counsel and an alibi.
I would still try removing one middle beat and reading it cold the next day. If you don’t miss it, the court has ruled
Romantic, but by maybe half an inch.
It doesn’t fix anything. It just lets them be ridiculous together for one second, which is a different thing
Yeah, same note.
There is one very short beat near the end that made me go “hmm, whose joke is this”
Might be completely intentional. Just one of those lines where reader interpretation can jump the fence
That sounds about right to me. I don’t love gatekeeping in principle, but completely open doors create their own gatekeeping when the loudest people take over.
Two pairs of boots. Look at us, inventing capitalism’s saddest luxury
Dry them, sure. Also rotate a second pair if you can, which is less poetic than…
Finished it last night.
First reaction: it feels much more like one book than I expected. I thought forty-plus short pieces might turn into clever-premise fatigue, but the voice holds it together.
The bear one is still probably the easiest entry point for me. It tells you very quickly what kind of place you’re in.
Main note: sometimes you explain a joke after it has already landed. Not often, but I marked it a few times
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